Resilience

Resilience helps you adapt to change and recover quickly when things don't go well. How can we become more resilient?

Do the preparation task first. Then read the article and do the exercises.

Raul never seems to let difficulties in life worry him. When someone disagrees with him, he sees it as a chance to understand things from a different point of view. When he had too much work, he learnt to improve his time management skills. When he lost his job, he took an online course so he could apply for better jobs. To Raul's friends, he's the best example of resilience.

What is resilience? One definition of resilience is the ability to be happy or successful again after difficulties. But resilience isn't just that. It is also the ability to adapt to challenging situations without feeling like it's all too much for you. It means using difficult situations to grow and improve. 

Some people might say Raul's just lucky. They might think he never gets stressed and that things just don't bother him. But they're wrong. Resilient people do feel stress, emotional pain, disappointment and other negative emotions. But it's what they do with those feelings that helps make them resilient. Resilience involves thoughts, behaviour and actions that we all can develop and strengthen. People are not born resilient – they learn resilience.

So what can we do to build resilience? Here are three tips.
 

1. Be aware of your reactions

When we think something is difficult or threatening, negative feelings and thoughts can lead to negative actions. By being aware of our feelings, we can learn to accept them and to deal with them better. Mindfulness activities like meditation can increase our awareness of our emotional state and help us calm negative thoughts.

Our brains often try to make sense of negative events by creating a story around the situation. For example, if Stella openly disagrees with us in a meeting, we might tell ourselves that she doesn't like us and was looking for the opportunity to make us feel uncomfortable in front of the boss. We tell ourselves this story until it feels real, even though it's likely that the reality is quite different. 

Being aware that everybody has a tendency to create stories around events is the first step to managing our reactions. When we realise that our version of events is just one interpretation of things, the situation becomes less painful and we are more open to seeing things from different perspectives.
 

2. Use writing techniques to gain different perspectives

It is not easy to recognise and change the stories we tell ourselves but there are techniques that can help us. Greater Good Magazine from Berkeley, the University of California, suggests expressive writing – writing freely about an issue for 20 minutes, putting your deepest thoughts and feelings on paper. As we write, the process forces us to face our thoughts honestly and helps us find new understanding.

Writing can also help us think more positively about difficult experiences. Once we have explored the negative side of something, another technique involves making a list of the positive aspects of the situation. For example, maybe Stella's comments in the meeting forced you to make your original idea much better. Or what she said might have helped you understand her point of view. A study found that people who did this 'list the positives' activity every day for three weeks felt more positive, particularly the negative thinkers, who reported feeling less depressed.


3. Be kind to yourself

It is important that we don't judge ourselves for the negative feelings and thoughts that we have, and that we forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make. Talking to other kind and sympathetic individuals can help support us when we are experiencing difficulty. Sharing experiences with other people can help us become more aware of our feelings and offer us different perspectives. Whether these are our colleagues, our friends or people in other social groups we belong to, forming strong relationships helps us feel less alone.

Being kind to yourself is also about looking after your physical health. Making sure you get enough sleep, plenty of exercise and healthy food can help reduce the stress you're feeling.

The stress, worry and emotional pain that life brings can be challenging. But if we work on building our resilience and getting the support we need to do so, we can gradually learn to deal with these difficult circumstances and, in the process, become stronger.

Discussion

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Language level

Intermediate: B1

Submitted by Momocompanyman on Mon, 06/09/2021 - 16:07

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I like the quotation when you say : People are not born resilient – they learn resilience.

Submitted by Cecilia Clausen on Tue, 13/07/2021 - 21:52

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I think this article about resilience is very interesting specially in order to apply the tips to our life. We used to create histories about situations that most of the time are only histories that are in our mind but not represent the real. So it damages our thinkings, emotions and reactions. So we should learn and change our perspectives in different circunstances and be positive.

Submitted by cittàutopica on Thu, 24/06/2021 - 16:03

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All the tips suggested in the article are very useful for creating or strenghting resilience; I would only highlight the importance of reflecting on our behaviour for studying our mistakes and avoiding them.

Submitted by GiulianaAndy on Sun, 20/06/2021 - 02:07

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Yes, here I have some tips for building resilience: - Don't be so hard on yourself for problems that happened in the past. - As the article says be aware of your own feelings. In my opinion I think you should make an assessment about your feelings and based on that you can start to write about. - Keep in touch with your comrades. Personally I think this is so important because imagine that one day you feel down and you need to talk to someone so if you kept in touch with your friends you can always count on them - And remember: "This life is too short to get worried"

Submitted by Aghaton on Thu, 27/05/2021 - 16:39

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A tough situation Happened to me some time ago when I was working for a certain company.I went through it and everything turned out fine.I think i did apply resilient skills without realizing it .

Submitted by Kibidango on Fri, 21/05/2021 - 08:39

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Thank you so much for introducing us such an impressive article. As other learners on this site say, I think resilience is one of the most important skills to survive at work places. I was inspired by Raul's story.

Submitted by Funke on Fri, 26/03/2021 - 09:46

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I believe the listed ways to be residence will be very effective if put into action

Submitted by alexandro bati… on Sun, 21/03/2021 - 20:33

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I like it, is very interesting and very good!

Submitted by Jonathan D S on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 23:45

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It is a very interesting article and I consider that many people need to read it to be more resilient

Submitted by Michelle D on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 06:04

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I really liked the article on resilience because I did not know what the word meant and I think it is important for everyone to know what it means and what a person should do to be resilient. In general, I really liked the text, I hope you keep doing more articles like this that personally helped me a lot and I felt very identified.

Submitted by Karina G on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 06:03

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This is a very interesting article that gives us excellent tips for dealing with difficulties. It would be great if more people read it and knew what resilience is and how to be a resilient person because this makes your life better. I consider that, as students, we are resilient people. In fact, we support each other and form strong relationships that help us to improve this ability.

Submitted by Josue H on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 06:01

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I think the text is very interesting because sometimes we do not learn from the events that sometimes do not favour us, because in this life we are to make mistakes and learn from them, because resilience helps us to give a positive meaning to the negative.

Submitted by Norely R on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 05:42

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It is a pleasant article, I learned new words and reflected on how I manage my time and emotions, I understood the importance of calmly facing difficulties and moving forward later with patience, enthusiasm and affection for me.

Submitted by Julio F on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 05:26

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It's very interesting and it's a great help for me because sometimes I worry too much about family or school things and I think that I won't be able to overcome them. But thanks to the article I'll try to follow the advices.

Submitted by Ariel M on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 05:13

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It is an article that makes us think about how frequently we are resilient. I knew the meaning of resilience but I had never read how to be more resilient. I appreciate the information and the advice to be more resilient. I think that the article has all the characteristics to be useful for everyone.

Submitted by VictorL on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 05:09

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Personally, I really liked the text because it is absolutely right, resilience is something that all people or at least most of us should choose, it helps you to be open to the thinking of others, it supports you not to stay with things and express them in the correct way, it helps you improve as a person and will help you in the future

Submitted by Mitzi F on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 05:02

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I really liked the text, because it made me feel good to know that being surrounded by resilient people who inspire me to be stronger.

Submitted by Mariana M on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 04:42

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Good article, I think it´s better for us to take a look at our thoughs since there is a lot of stress nowadays. Very helpful for people like me who used to think that you only had to hold your emotions and never being able to show feelings because of the fear to being seen as a weak person.

Submitted by Aldo G on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 04:01

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This article help me to releaze that I need to be a resilient person because I'm a negative thinker. It's very interesting learn that getting physically healthier can make you more resilient and better able to deal with difficult situations.

Submitted by Pedro S. on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 03:54

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It is a really enriching text, I had heard the word resilience before but in reality I did not know how to use it and now I know what it means and I know that it is an incredible skill and that I would like to learn.

Submitted by Zenit G on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 03:18

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This article helped me, apart from learning and knowing the meaning of new and interesting words, to take into account some methods to try to control my emotions, it was important for me, since sometimes I can get very desperate with certain situations of the daily life.

Submitted by Osvaldo N on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 03:11

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I liked this reading very much because it is a subject that personally did not take much importance. Now thanks to the tips to be more resilient, it made me want to reflect on the difficult moments that I have lived and how I got over them.

Submitted by Brandon C. on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 02:26

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This new word for me was a great discovery, since I consider that it is a word that characterizes me as a person, I am not the most resilient person of all and I can still improve a lot thanks to these good tips.

Submitted by Rubí H on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 01:33

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The reading was interesting since I didn't knowthe term of resilience, but now that I know what it means, I'm interested in putting into practice the tips that are given in the text to be able to be a more recilient person.

Submitted by Mary L on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 00:36

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I don't consider myself a resilient person, I always blame myself for bad things that happen, I worry about everything, I almost always give up when difficulties arise.

Submitted by Daniel V on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 00:30

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I think this is an excellent reading activity because it is useful not only to improve our english skills but to improve our social abilities.

Submitted by Julieta E on Sun, 07/03/2021 - 00:00

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I enjoyed reading this text. I think almost all the people need to know these tips about resilience for our own grow and both for our mental and physical health. I'm very interested about this topic because of the way people react to those situations.

Submitted by Myriam H on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 23:17

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This article helped me a lot, since I´m usually a person who worries a lot about things that happen to me and this tends to stress me too much, now I have found some ways to control my emotions and see the positive side of everything.

Submitted by Elizabeth M on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 23:13

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This article is really interesting .I liked and enjoyed it because it made me reflect about dificult situations and how sometimes we are mean to ourselves. Resilience is about remember to learn of every bad or god situation.

Submitted by Juan M on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 22:18

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I'm think that this type of articles are very interesting because you can learn english and how is that you can be better whit yourself.

Submitted by Alejandro S on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 21:55

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I enjoy reading this article, I had never read an article related with the resilience and i think that everyone should learn resilience and more in this difficult times.

Submitted by Ariadna R on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 21:51

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I liked the article, it is very true what it says and I think it is something worth working on.

Submitted by Mónica E on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 21:40

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The reading seemed very interesting to me since I did not know the meaning of resilience, now, after having read this I can say that I consider myself a resilience person since I identify with many of the aforementioned situations. It is very appropriate that these issues are mentioned in order to have a better vision and be able to make a change in your life as you want to.

Submitted by Erick C on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 21:21

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It is a great article. Sometimes we get angry easily against a hard situation and we do not know how to chill out. We must be aware that losing control we can't achieve nothing, we should learn how to lead with those situations and I think this article is very helpfull to get it.

Submitted by Rodolfo R on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 21:21

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Definetly resilience is one of the most important soft skills a person must have in order to have succes in life. Everyday we face problems, some of them harder than others, but still being so important to learn how to deal with them, how to learn from them, and if we fail, to see how could we use this situation in order to keep growing.

Submitted by Pamela P on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 20:56

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I love the tips because think is very importan to be resilence to be well with oneself and don't feel bad sometimes. Personally the exercise always help me to reduce the stress that school make me feel, I never concidered meditate but now I going to try because sometimes I don't know how I feel and also I think it could be fun.

Submitted by Karely D on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 20:38

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I found this reading very interesting because it teaches us a reality in our way of living and seeing life, I learned how to improve my mood and to move forward despite the circumstances.

Submitted by Jonathan_R on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 19:55

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It's a good article and I learned new things about people's resilience, I feel like a part of me is like that.

Submitted by David O on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 19:37

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I think it is very important to read this article because in our lives we often have problems and difficult experiences. I liked the article because now we have techniques to learn resilience.

Submitted by Victoria G on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 19:27

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It is a good article because it gives us very good tips on how to be more resilient, since people are not born being resilient, but rather that we can develop it due to the difficulties that arise and how to face them. I find it very interesting to write our negative and positive thoughts and that at some point it can help us to see things differently.

Submitted by Eliasib E on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 17:53

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I feel identified with the resilience because I try to think and do things that way. I liked the reading it's motivating.

Submitted by Victoria G on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 16:51

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It is good article because it gives us very good tips on how to be more resilient, since people are not born being resilient, but rather that we can develop it due to the difficulties that arise and way to face them. I find it very interesting to write our negative and positive thoughts and that at some point it can help us to see things differently.

Submitted by Hector D on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 08:20

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A great article, which leaves a very good reflection.

Submitted by Karely D on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 08:01

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I found this article very interesting because it helps you to be more positive, and to take actions that benefit you in life. I think resilience is something that needs to be practiced to improve.

Submitted by GuillermoG on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 07:50

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I didn't know the meaning of awareness but know that I know it I think that is an interesting word.

Submitted by Kevin F on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 06:54

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I like the text, I learn a lot of new things and the meaning of resilience. I think resilience is a skill that everyone should develop because it helps you to improve in many ways your life and your mood, here we have some tips to developt resilience and for me are great tips. Personally I admire resilience people, I already did it even before I read this and knew this word because they are strong people.

Submitted by Christa S on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 06:50

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It's a good text that makes us think about the way of leading our life. I would like to know more about this topic.

Submitted by Stephanie C on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 06:18

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It is a very interesting reading that in my opinion we should put everyone into practice to lead a better life.

Submitted by Nahum H on Sat, 06/03/2021 - 05:02

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Personally, I consider myself a resilient person, because I'm a person who is constantly stressed and worried about school and other things, but I always try to do my best and see mistakes as an opportunity to improve. Before the pandemic, I used to like to go for a walk to de-stress, but currently I can't do that, however I try to meditate.
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