Resilience helps you adapt to change and recover quickly when things don't go well. How can we become more resilient?

Do the preparation task first. Then read the article and do the exercises.


Raul never seems to let difficulties in life worry him. When someone disagrees with him, he sees it as a chance to understand things from a different point of view. When he had too much work, he learnt to improve his time management skills. When he lost his job, he took an online course so he could apply for better jobs. To Raul's friends, he's the best example of resilience.

What is resilience? One definition of resilience is the ability to be happy or successful again after difficulties. But resilience isn't just that. It is also the ability to adapt to challenging situations without feeling like it's all too much for you. It means using difficult situations to grow and improve. 

Some people might say Raul's just lucky. They might think he never gets stressed and that things just don't bother him. But they're wrong. Resilient people do feel stress, emotional pain, disappointment and other negative emotions. But it's what they do with those feelings that helps make them resilient. Resilience involves thoughts, behaviour and actions that we all can develop and strengthen. People are not born resilient – they learn resilience.

So what can we do to build resilience? Here are three tips.

1. Be aware of your reactions

When we think something is difficult or threatening, negative feelings and thoughts can lead to negative actions. By being aware of our feelings, we can learn to accept them and to deal with them better. Mindfulness activities like meditation can increase our awareness of our emotional state and help us calm negative thoughts.

Our brains often try to make sense of negative events by creating a story around the situation. For example, if Stella openly disagrees with us in a meeting, we might tell ourselves that she doesn't like us and was looking for the opportunity to make us feel uncomfortable in front of the boss. We tell ourselves this story until it feels real, even though it's likely that the reality is quite different. 

Being aware that everybody has a tendency to create stories around events is the first step to managing our reactions. When we realise that our version of events is just one interpretation of things, the situation becomes less painful and we are more open to seeing things from different perspectives.

2. Use writing techniques to gain different perspectives

It is not easy to recognise and change the stories we tell ourselves but there are techniques that can help us. Greater Good Magazine from Berkeley, the University of California, suggests expressive writing – writing freely about an issue for 20 minutes, putting your deepest thoughts and feelings on paper. As we write, the process forces us to face our thoughts honestly and helps us find new understanding.

Writing can also help us think more positively about difficult experiences. Once we have explored the negative side of something, another technique involves making a list of the positive aspects of the situation. For example, maybe Stella's comments in the meeting forced you to make your original idea much better. Or what she said might have helped you understand her point of view. A study found that people who did this 'list the positives' activity every day for three weeks felt more positive, particularly the negative thinkers, who reported feeling less depressed.

3. Be kind to yourself

It is important that we don't judge ourselves for the negative feelings and thoughts that we have, and that we forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make. Talking to other kind and sympathetic individuals can help support us when we are experiencing difficulty. Sharing experiences with other people can help us become more aware of our feelings and offer us different perspectives. Whether these are our colleagues, our friends or people in other social groups we belong to, forming strong relationships helps us feel less alone.

Being kind to yourself is also about looking after your physical health. Making sure you get enough sleep, plenty of exercise and healthy food can help reduce the stress you're feeling.

The stress, worry and emotional pain that life brings can be challenging. But if we work on building our resilience and getting the support we need to do so, we can gradually learn to deal with these difficult circumstances and, in the process, become stronger.


Worksheet89.76 KB

Language level

Average: 5 (5 votes)

Submitted by KazimliAyxan on Tue, 03/01/2023 - 05:41


Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before

I back up the clear statement submitted by KazimiAyxan. However, I'd add my point. Any experience we get through requires a strong mindset, which is strictly connected to meditation and inner development.
Once reached a substancial inner development we can handle,far better, an adaptation.
For those who want to discover more about Inner Developments and Readiness of happenings to ease the way of handling difficult situations, feel free to reply.

Submitted by saijadpatel on Wed, 03/08/2022 - 13:54


Good article around with important tips to be resilient in any aspects of situations.

Submitted by Jazmin11 on Mon, 18/07/2022 - 19:45


I´d be a good idea to create yourself a hobbie, by doing so, when you were stress or sad, you would calm your mind doing something you enjoy, then you´d go back and face the situation.

Submitted by jyoti Chaudhary on Thu, 26/05/2022 - 13:28


people face difficulties in any type of situation and also take the stress and the negative feeling. when I feel like this I spend time with my friends and I always try to handle difficult situations.

Submitted by Joel S on Thu, 23/12/2021 - 15:23


we should be hard on ourselves ,or only take negatively whatever objections we are receiving in life .let us always firstly see any situation as an opportunity to grow ,the more challenges we face and survive the more resilient we become. People who always opposing us should not be seen as pure enemies but as those participating in the process of making us more resilient.

Submitted by Momocompanyman on Mon, 06/09/2021 - 16:07

I like the quotation when you say : People are not born resilient – they learn resilience.

Submitted by Cecilia Clausen on Tue, 13/07/2021 - 21:52

I think this article about resilience is very interesting specially in order to apply the tips to our life. We used to create histories about situations that most of the time are only histories that are in our mind but not represent the real. So it damages our thinkings, emotions and reactions. So we should learn and change our perspectives in different circunstances and be positive.

Submitted by cittàutopica on Thu, 24/06/2021 - 16:03

All the tips suggested in the article are very useful for creating or strenghting resilience; I would only highlight the importance of reflecting on our behaviour for studying our mistakes and avoiding them.

Submitted by GiulianaAndy on Sun, 20/06/2021 - 02:07

Yes, here I have some tips for building resilience: - Don't be so hard on yourself for problems that happened in the past. - As the article says be aware of your own feelings. In my opinion I think you should make an assessment about your feelings and based on that you can start to write about. - Keep in touch with your comrades. Personally I think this is so important because imagine that one day you feel down and you need to talk to someone so if you kept in touch with your friends you can always count on them - And remember: "This life is too short to get worried"