3. Is small talk easy for you?

Is small talk easy for you?

 

At some point, we all find ourselves in situations where we need to make conversation with people we don't know very well. This can sometimes be difficult in our own language and even harder in another language! We asked some people in what situations they need to make small talk, what they find easy or difficult, and whether they have any tips for making small talk. This is what they said.

Last week I was invited to a party and there were a lot of people there who I didn't know. Although I've lived in France for many years, I still find it harder to make small talk in French than in my own language. I guess I just feel less confident. First, you have to think 'What could I have in common with this person?' and then you have to think of something to ask them. And then you have to understand their answer correctly, and when the music is loud, that can be really difficult! But I think if you smile and seem friendly and interested, that really helps.
Joanne

For me, small talk usually happens at work when you have a Teams meeting with a group, whether it's with your team members or with a client, and you're waiting for everyone to join. That can take a minute or two. Making small talk can be hard, but staring at each other in silence is even worse! The people can be total strangers and come from completely different places. I used to wait for someone else to start the small talk, but then I realised that it's actually easier to start the conversation myself. I ask them what they did at the weekend or what season it is where they are.
Kirill

Recently I joined a climbing club in my local area and had to do an induction course with several other lads who were also new to the sport and the club. As I went by myself, I had to make small talk with people I didn't know. I tend to ask about whether they are working or studying and what uni they go to. With this group, who were all at uni together, it was fairly easy, as I finished uni a few years ago. So we talked about what subjects they were doing, where they were from, how many years they had left and things like that.
Harry

I'm doing a walking challenge for charity this month and yesterday I met up with another person who is also doing it. It was the first time that I'd met her. I found it a little embarrassing initially because I was self-conscious, so I asked a lot of questions! We started off speaking about the weather, then moved on to how long we'd lived in the area, about our families and about food! She's originally from Italy, and I’ve lived in Italy, so food was a brilliant topic that we both enjoyed talking about.
Tina

I think most of the small talk I make is when I'm out running errands. For example, I tend to see the same person at the bakery and she and I often talk about the weather or how many people there are out in the street. In general, I feel quite comfortable making small talk in English, Catalan and Spanish, but when there's a lot of background noise, I have trouble making out what other people are saying, even in my native English. For this reason, I usually struggle a bit in groups of more than a few people in cafés or restaurants.
Kirk

What about you?
  • In what situations do you need to make small talk?
  • Do you find small talk easy or difficult?
  • Do you have any tips for making small talk?
     

If you want to practise speaking, you can record your response using SpeakPipe voice recorder and post a link to the recording in your comment.

Go to SpeakPipe voice recorder

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Average: 5 (5 votes)

Submitted by Jaime Castellanos on Wed, 27/11/2024 - 22:33

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There are several situations where we need a small talk. Particulary, when we met someone at work and we don't have confidence between us, so we can start with short open question that allow ineract and change the moment. If I identify some common topic about hobbies for instance, I follow in that direction and try to deep a little bit

Hi Jaime Castellanos,

I think that's good advice: start with short open questions, and then delve a bit deeper once you've found something in common. 
You've summed up the art of small talk very well!

Best wishes,

Jo (LearnEnglish team)

Submitted by Roslana on Fri, 08/11/2024 - 16:26

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Hi! These're my struggles and tips for small talk.

When I was a child I felt really awkward at family gatherings. There were a lot of people I didn't know and didn't really get what to talk about with them. So I used to hide somewhere in the corner and have as less social contacts as I could. Now when I'm grown up person I do understand that those family gatherings are not about some personal deep matters, but just about to keep in touch. So they became much easier for me to cope.

I find it difficult to have small talk with people who are naturally gloomy and irritated at just anything at the world. But when a person is friendly and trying to keep the friendly air around themselves, having small talk becomes easy and comfortable, and even something I'm looking opportunity to.

As for tips for making small talk I guess you should find something interesting about a person you want to have it with. For example beautiful earrings or nice tatoo on their arm. Or something in common like pets or hobbies. So small talk is more about being friendly and at ease in small social contacts, and not to force yourself if you have nothing to say or dislike a person.

Hi Roslana, ✿

Thank you for sharing your struggles and tips about 'small talk'. And I agree, it really is so much easier to talk to someone who is friendly and approachable rather than all 'doom and glooml!
~ Tina ツ
LearnEnglish team

Submitted by sergio amaro on Wed, 06/11/2024 - 06:10

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Hi, it was fun reading everyone's perspectives on "small talk." I think it mostly depends on your personality. Some people are more open to meeting others and can talk about anything, like their weather or favourite food. On the contrary, some people prefer to stay alone, listening to music, texting or browsing their phone, even when they are at a social event. Finally, some small talk is just sort of inevitable when you live within a community

Hi Esticohen,

Thank you for sharing your voice message - I enjoyed listening to it. 
I liked your advice: Be authentic and don't try to talk about things you don't know about. That's a good tip!

Best wishes,

Jo (LearnEnglish team)

Hi amr_essam666,

Thanks for your comment. I really enjoyed hearing how you met new people by making small talk, and then became friends.

Here in the Learning hub, we don't really correct errors as we focus on communicating and sharing ideas.

However I'll just draw attention to one point, as I've heard and read it in several people's comments. 'Small talk' is used as an uncountable noun, so we don't make it plural.

So we make 'small talk' and not 'small talks'. I hope that helps :-)

 

Best wishes,

Jo (LearnEnglish Team)