Getting advice

Listen to someone getting advice from a friend to practise and improve your listening skills.

Instructions

Do the preparation task first. Then listen to the audio and do the exercises.

Transcript

Clara: Hi, how are you? I haven't seen you in class for a while.

Ben: Good, thanks. You? 

Clara: Great, as long as I don't think too hard about all the essays I have to write this term!

Ben: Yeah … 

Clara: Hey, are you OK?

Ben: I have to admit, I'm struggling a bit. Maybe even a lot. I've not been sleeping well at all and then I can't concentrate. And all these things are just going around and around in my head.

Clara: Mmm … that doesn't sound good. So, you're sleeping badly and you can't concentrate. Is that all it is, do you think?

Ben: Well, if I'm honest, it's more than that. I'm starting to dread going outside. I find myself worrying about stupid things like what if I forget the way home. Or, what if I go to class thinking it's Monday but actually it's Friday and I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. It sounds even more stupid when I say it out loud. It took me two hours to leave the house today.

Clara: It doesn't sound stupid at all. It actually sounds a lot like me last year.

Ben: Really? But you're so together!

Clara: I've learned to be, but even I still have bad days. I used to have panic attacks and everything. When you were trying to leave the house today, how did you feel?

Ben: Like I couldn't breathe. And my heart was going way too fast.

Clara: Hmm … that sounds like a panic attack to me.

Ben: I thought I was going to die.

Clara: You'd be surprised how common they are. Loads of people have them, they just don't talk about it.

Ben: How did you get over them?

Clara: I actually talked to a doctor about it, and you should too. But I learned some practical things as well. Though they're easier said than done, and they're going to sound weird, so hear me out, OK?

Ben: OK …

Clara: So, one thing I did was to try to reduce the power of the anxiety and the panic attacks when they came. So – and this may sound strange – at a time when you're feeling safe and OK, you literally do things that make your heart start racing faster and your breathing speed up. Like spinning around on a chair until you're dizzy or hyperventilating so you're short of breath.

Ben: That sounds awful!

Clara: It is, but it means you get used to the symptoms, so they feel less scary. 

Ben: Right. 

Clara: Then you have to deliberately do the things that usually make you feel panic. So, if it's going to class on Monday and being scared you've got the wrong day, on Monday you go to class. If you let the anxiety control you by making you stay at home, it just makes it worse the next time you really do have to go out.

Ben: And what did you do if a panic attack came anyway?

Clara: I had a distraction plan. So, I walked everywhere instead of taking the bus because the exercise helped, but also I did things like count trees or red cars or something. Whatever it was didn't matter, as long as I had something else to focus on.

Ben: I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. I thought … 

Discussion

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Average: 5 (1 vote)

Submitted by Miaaivoji on Fri, 19/03/2021 - 09:25

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The fear of failure or non-approval, non-acceptance from others can make me feel nervous or anxious. Human being is a social creation. We all have our unic experiences starting right away from family and school. It starts when a parents punishes a child for his mistakes but don't seem to see or praise his achievements. When child is being compared with others and gradually loses his self-value. What we have been told at home and schools goes a long way for an adult-to-be. I had many panic attacks during my highschool years and I've learned to overcome it. Knowledge of constant change and attention to my thoughts helped me. Realization of self-worth, being special and great in my own way boosted self-confidence. A desire to accept my fears and "look into its eyes" decreased level of anxiety. I allowed myself to be scared, it is simply okay. I had a friend to talk to. I still get anxious sometimes and I have sleepless nights, but guess what, I don't worry about it anymore. So my advice to people who struggle with anxiety or panic attacks is : let your fear be. It's okay to be scared. Accept it. Live it through. Don't pay much attention to it. See it as a temporal condition. Don't fight it. Dont be ashamed of it. Find someone to talk to. You will be fine.

Submitted by Oseni Saheed A… on Mon, 15/03/2021 - 08:07

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Being nervous seem like a normal routine to me. Though it was long before I realised it. My anxiety rises when I think about the future and the challenges I have to scale through. Also the fear of the kind of father I'm going to be to my kids. But then I learnt to console myself that all is going to be fine. I assure myself I'm doing great and will definitely get it right. "The future will be bright" I would say to myself.
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Submitted by El Cuy Mágico on Thu, 04/02/2021 - 20:59

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It make me feel anxious when I overthink all things I started and I didn’t finished, all opportunities I have missed and so on. And it make me feel nervous to think in what I am gonna do after my graduation, am I gonna find a good job? Am I gonna get stability in my live? Have I ever gonna help something in the world gets better or am I just gonna be one more gentrified man? Lately I am trying to do not overthink in the future and just focus on the present. I recommend to practice meditation at least twenty minutes per day.

Submitted by kawa on Mon, 01/02/2021 - 11:26

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actually, this kind of feeling, such as depression, sadness, and anger everybody must have been experienced as we, as a human being, have all kinds of positive and negative emotions. But I assure you it is just a case of time, it will go, but it comes again in a new form. We have just to be patient and not worry too much as if we will never ever get rid of them and get used to them. I am sometimes anxious when I have a job interview or an important occasion, especially before the day of the event. The worst enemy of the human is regret about the decisions he/she had made in the past and worries about the future. The best thing to do is just concentration at the present time.

Submitted by Minh on Sun, 24/01/2021 - 19:09

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Hi Team English ! Let's check it again. I have been discussed on the question after read and listened, so I posted it. Sometimes you didn't post it, I wonder what it was wrong thing. Let's me know. Thanks a lot.

Hi Minh,

All comments are moderated before they are published, and we only do not publish when there is some problem with the comment, such as inappropriate content, links to exernal sites or personal information. I don't know if this was the case with any of your comments, however.

 

Peter

The LearnEnglish Team

Submitted by Diogo1606 on Wed, 20/01/2021 - 00:27

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What makes me feel nervous or anxiety is to do something knowing that someone is waiting for me to get great results about it.

Submitted by Layria on Mon, 18/01/2021 - 17:26

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When I read the comments and the text above I felt really surprised. I didn´t think there were so many people worried about things like me. What makes me feel anxious is the job and the economy. I have really studied hard in my life and despite I always have a job in my carreer, my contracts don´t take more than three or four months. Yep, it is true. When you want to control something the worries appear. You have to struggle every day to set your goals and I´m not able to sleep well ( no more than five hours). Might it be true that you sometimes see people that they don´t care things ?. It is only an appearance?, or is just about your personality?.

Submitted by Asni on Mon, 07/12/2020 - 23:56

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I'm really sad to admit that I get easily nervous and anxious, sometimes in an exaggerated way or about stupid things not deserving all the importance I give them. I expect events and things to happen in a certain way, but I can't wait peaceably like normal people do, I just start worrying and thinking about unrealistic troubles and issues or unexpected circumstances. The fear of failure is another feeling I usually have before any kind of experience, from social to professional experiences, which makes me hesitate and overthink a lot. I must confess that I have missed many opportunities, and I'm kind of introvert because of that, I fear not succeeding in getting on well with people, or being disappointed, so I just avoid building relationships either in a personal or professional context.