Getting advice

Listen to someone getting advice from a friend to practise and improve your listening skills.

Do the preparation task first. Then listen to the audio and do the exercises.

Transcript

Clara: Hi, how are you? I haven't seen you in class for a while.

Ben: Good, thanks. You? 

Clara: Great, as long as I don't think too hard about all the essays I have to write this term!

Ben: Yeah … 

Clara: Hey, are you OK?

Ben: I have to admit, I'm struggling a bit. Maybe even a lot. I've not been sleeping well at all and then I can't concentrate. And all these things are just going around and around in my head.

Clara: Mmm … that doesn't sound good. So, you're sleeping badly and you can't concentrate. Is that all it is, do you think?

Ben: Well, if I'm honest, it's more than that. I'm starting to dread going outside. I find myself worrying about stupid things like what if I forget the way home. Or, what if I go to class thinking it's Monday but actually it's Friday and I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time. It sounds even more stupid when I say it out loud. It took me two hours to leave the house today.

Clara: It doesn't sound stupid at all. It actually sounds a lot like me last year.

Ben: Really? But you're so together!

Clara: I've learned to be, but even I still have bad days. I used to have panic attacks and everything. When you were trying to leave the house today, how did you feel?

Ben: Like I couldn't breathe. And my heart was going way too fast.

Clara: Hmm … that sounds like a panic attack to me.

Ben: I thought I was going to die.

Clara: You'd be surprised how common they are. Loads of people have them, they just don't talk about it.

Ben: How did you get over them?

Clara: I actually talked to a doctor about it, and you should too. But I learned some practical things as well. Though they're easier said than done, and they're going to sound weird, so hear me out, OK?

Ben: OK …

Clara: So, one thing I did was to try to reduce the power of the anxiety and the panic attacks when they came. So – and this may sound strange – at a time when you're feeling safe and OK, you literally do things that make your heart start racing faster and your breathing speed up. Like spinning around on a chair until you're dizzy or hyperventilating so you're short of breath.

Ben: That sounds awful!

Clara: It is, but it means you get used to the symptoms, so they feel less scary. 

Ben: Right. 

Clara: Then you have to deliberately do the things that usually make you feel panic. So, if it's going to class on Monday and being scared you've got the wrong day, on Monday you go to class. If you let the anxiety control you by making you stay at home, it just makes it worse the next time you really do have to go out.

Ben: And what did you do if a panic attack came anyway?

Clara: I had a distraction plan. So, I walked everywhere instead of taking the bus because the exercise helped, but also I did things like count trees or red cars or something. Whatever it was didn't matter, as long as I had something else to focus on.

Ben: I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. I thought … 

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Discussion

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Submitted by Suraj paliwal on Tue, 12/10/2021 - 10:10

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I got anxious when I saw how politicians in my country makes people fool and looted them. Politicians have lot of wealth in abroad and they looted people. Economic development is stable. Inflation rate is going day to day.
It's feels me nervous.

Submitted by Abrarhussain on Fri, 10/09/2021 - 00:16

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Any bad news, such as deaths, accidents and illnesses makes me nervous and anxious.

Submitted by Stela Stoycheva on Thu, 26/08/2021 - 14:36

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Many things and situations makes me anxious... Most of the time maybe my expectations... Makes me angry, nervous politicians in my country which expelled younger people abroad; unfair payment /salary/; unfair human behaviour; that situation with that COVID and vaccines, which are "if you" want but you must to work for your salary but you can`t without vaccine... Where is the choice in that case?!?

Submitted by GiulianaAndy on Mon, 09/08/2021 - 17:04

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I got anxious when I think about the future economic situation in my country. Now I'm studying international business management and I'm trying to get a scholarship abroad to get out of my country because I'm dreading having a future in my country..... And sometimes I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure

Submitted by danahamed on Wed, 14/07/2021 - 18:31

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what make me feel anxious is when I am keep thinking in the future or past in general what make me anxious is overthinking in everything

Submitted by German on Fri, 07/05/2021 - 03:08

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The things that makes me nervous are for example test of the university, interviews and too when I have to do a training about a specific topic.

Submitted by Suraj paliwal on Sun, 25/04/2021 - 10:55

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I'm also experienced panic attack many time. Most of panic attack related to future.As when I'm gone to give presentation. I feel nervous. My heart rate is very fast and I completely forgot about present situation. I try to escape this situation. Reason for this my low self confidence but since two I improve my self esteem and I proudly say that I'm a man who likes more. I love himself and care about my thinking, work study. Now I don't escape panic attack situation. I filled with positive thinking. And do things which I most like not see who other things.

Submitted by Hayleymaybe on Tue, 13/04/2021 - 05:25

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Well, the things that make me feel anxious are the period that I am waiting for the test result and the time before the test. Before the test, I had numerous things to do such as revising all of the lessons I have studied, remembering the entire knowledge that was printed in the book and the notebook. When I was in the exam room, the phenomenon became worse: it just felt like I was too worried about the test, my heartbeat was really fast, and I couldn't concentrate on anything :(. When I finished the test, it seemed like it would be better IF I WAS PRETTY SURE ABOUT THE RESULT I WOULD RECEIVE. Conversely, if I thought that I did it badly, I would be more and more anxious during the time waiting for my point. Do you have the same situation as me? (most of the students in the world have it :)))

Submitted by Miaaivoji on Fri, 19/03/2021 - 09:25

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The fear of failure or non-approval, non-acceptance from others can make me feel nervous or anxious. Human being is a social creation. We all have our unic experiences starting right away from family and school. It starts when a parents punishes a child for his mistakes but don't seem to see or praise his achievements. When child is being compared with others and gradually loses his self-value. What we have been told at home and schools goes a long way for an adult-to-be. I had many panic attacks during my highschool years and I've learned to overcome it. Knowledge of constant change and attention to my thoughts helped me. Realization of self-worth, being special and great in my own way boosted self-confidence. A desire to accept my fears and "look into its eyes" decreased level of anxiety. I allowed myself to be scared, it is simply okay. I had a friend to talk to. I still get anxious sometimes and I have sleepless nights, but guess what, I don't worry about it anymore. So my advice to people who struggle with anxiety or panic attacks is : let your fear be. It's okay to be scared. Accept it. Live it through. Don't pay much attention to it. See it as a temporal condition. Don't fight it. Dont be ashamed of it. Find someone to talk to. You will be fine.

Submitted by Oseni Saheed A… on Mon, 15/03/2021 - 08:07

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Being nervous seem like a normal routine to me. Though it was long before I realised it. My anxiety rises when I think about the future and the challenges I have to scale through. Also the fear of the kind of father I'm going to be to my kids. But then I learnt to console myself that all is going to be fine. I assure myself I'm doing great and will definitely get it right. "The future will be bright" I would say to myself.

Submitted by El Cuy Mágico on Thu, 04/02/2021 - 20:59

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It make me feel anxious when I overthink all things I started and I didn’t finished, all opportunities I have missed and so on. And it make me feel nervous to think in what I am gonna do after my graduation, am I gonna find a good job? Am I gonna get stability in my live? Have I ever gonna help something in the world gets better or am I just gonna be one more gentrified man? Lately I am trying to do not overthink in the future and just focus on the present. I recommend to practice meditation at least twenty minutes per day.

Submitted by kawa on Mon, 01/02/2021 - 11:26

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actually, this kind of feeling, such as depression, sadness, and anger everybody must have been experienced as we, as a human being, have all kinds of positive and negative emotions. But I assure you it is just a case of time, it will go, but it comes again in a new form. We have just to be patient and not worry too much as if we will never ever get rid of them and get used to them. I am sometimes anxious when I have a job interview or an important occasion, especially before the day of the event. The worst enemy of the human is regret about the decisions he/she had made in the past and worries about the future. The best thing to do is just concentration at the present time.

Submitted by Minh on Sun, 24/01/2021 - 19:09

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Hi Team English ! Let's check it again. I have been discussed on the question after read and listened, so I posted it. Sometimes you didn't post it, I wonder what it was wrong thing. Let's me know. Thanks a lot.

Hi Minh,

All comments are moderated before they are published, and we only do not publish when there is some problem with the comment, such as inappropriate content, links to exernal sites or personal information. I don't know if this was the case with any of your comments, however.

 

Peter

The LearnEnglish Team

Submitted by Diogo1606 on Wed, 20/01/2021 - 00:27

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What makes me feel nervous or anxiety is to do something knowing that someone is waiting for me to get great results about it.

Submitted by Layria on Mon, 18/01/2021 - 17:26

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When I read the comments and the text above I felt really surprised. I didn´t think there were so many people worried about things like me. What makes me feel anxious is the job and the economy. I have really studied hard in my life and despite I always have a job in my carreer, my contracts don´t take more than three or four months. Yep, it is true. When you want to control something the worries appear. You have to struggle every day to set your goals and I´m not able to sleep well ( no more than five hours). Might it be true that you sometimes see people that they don´t care things ?. It is only an appearance?, or is just about your personality?.

Submitted by Asni on Mon, 07/12/2020 - 23:56

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I'm really sad to admit that I get easily nervous and anxious, sometimes in an exaggerated way or about stupid things not deserving all the importance I give them. I expect events and things to happen in a certain way, but I can't wait peaceably like normal people do, I just start worrying and thinking about unrealistic troubles and issues or unexpected circumstances. The fear of failure is another feeling I usually have before any kind of experience, from social to professional experiences, which makes me hesitate and overthink a lot. I must confess that I have missed many opportunities, and I'm kind of introvert because of that, I fear not succeeding in getting on well with people, or being disappointed, so I just avoid building relationships either in a personal or professional context.
Hi Asni. I know that feeling 'cause I'm also an introvert person and people like us usually don't wanna get out of their comfort zone, don't wanna risk, don't wanna feel less, etc... Once I found out these things, I decided to work in myself, to try new things even though I knew it was gonna be hard at first but if you never try, you'll never know what you will earn. Surround yourself with good people, good friends that you know they'll never judge you for being like that, they'll understand you and will help you to make you feel comfortable and confidence about yourself.

Submitted by DJ Singh on Wed, 02/12/2020 - 06:33

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I am an introverted person and feel anxious when I go into public or in a group of people they make me feel anxious every time so I just avoid going into public.

Submitted by javibuendi on Fri, 20/11/2020 - 11:02

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I think anxiety appears mainly when you feel that you do not have control of something. The people that suffer this disorder, it is because they are obsessed with control their full future, every single detail about what is going to happen. And obviously, It is imposible to reach that purpose because life is unpredictable. In my case, as a football trainer, I sometimes feel a little bit anxious preparing the training. I imagine what the exercises are going to be and how I want the kids to perform them. I repeat it over and over in my mind and therefore I start feeling overwhelmed. It has no sense, because if life is unpredictable, children are even more. So, my piece of advice for you, and myself, is do not overthink so much, and be ready to adapt to any situation that arise to you. Cheers from Madrid.

Submitted by danisep on Thu, 19/11/2020 - 17:34

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I feel anxious because I don’t have job I finished university the last year and I still here stuck looking for a job in a country with awful economy, I was thinking in start my own web business but I need money to start it I thought seriously in call for a loan making an important risk. Everybody have dreams someday travel around the world, buy a house, make a family, help his parents and give support to his family with everything they needs, this situation is frustrating and sad. But everything going to be better, I know.

Submitted by Ugulhan on Fri, 23/10/2020 - 08:30

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When people look at you and make a faking smile, particularly at work or study.

Submitted by zahid ali shah on Wed, 07/10/2020 - 08:56

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what make me anxious to talk to teacher if i had not completed the assignments or asking to them for help.To meet new people who are elder then me also makes me anxious.

Submitted by Hennadii on Fri, 18/09/2020 - 15:24

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What makes me feel nervous? Well, actually a lot of things. First of all, my future. As a father of two kids, I badly want to be confident in my future, in terms of finance. Parentship is a great responsibility. You brought your kids in this world and have to give them everything they need: warm and safe house, food, clothes, education, medicine, toys, of course, etc. I think every parent in the world fears losing one's job and become insolvent, so do I. Another thing, that makes me sad and anxious, it's the present situation in my country. Unfortunately, the war came in our state. Some territory is occupated, many people dead, and, despite the war activity is decline a bit, almost every week we lose another soldier in this conflict. In this case, I can't name the life in my country very safe and happy. All of us continue to think about another war escalation so close to our houses. There are lots of other problems that I keep in mind: bad ecology, financial crisis, the high level of corruption and criminality here. Well, that's it.

Submitted by Aghaton on Mon, 24/08/2020 - 12:29

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Hello team, my greatest anxiety is when I do not meet the marks target in my studying. For example, last year when I had a plan to get an A from the subject of bibliographic control and thinks got different when I had B+ Instead

Submitted by fahri on Tue, 11/08/2020 - 04:33

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Dear team. From the lesson above. 'Maybe even a lot' Is that the same if he say :' maybe happening many time' ? Is it same meaning or not?? Thank you very much for your answer

Hello fahri,

The phrase here describes how bad the speaker's struggles have been, not how often:

Ben: I have to admit, I'm struggling a bit. Maybe even a lot. I've not been sleeping well at all and then I can't concentrate. And all these things are just going around and around in my head.

The contrast here is struggling a bit (not such a terrible problem) and maybe even a lot (a serious problem).

 

Peter

The LearnEnglish Team

I can't tell you how much I appreciate this answer. Thanks a lot sir
Hi Fahri, from my perspective about the above lesson, when Ben says "Maybe even a lot' i think he means to express the feeling that he has gone through those panic attacks or the related that he doesn't remember and the even a lot of that feeling.

Submitted by nona nasr on Sat, 13/06/2020 - 19:10

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What makes me anxious really that i always think about raising my children probably and accustoming them to healthy habits, also another problem which is I’m struggling a bit in learning English because some times I need to listen more and more to understand because of pronunciation as sometimes not clear to me and that makes me annoyed , also difficulty in achieving my goals gets me nervous sometimes because of not having enough time to realize what I want

Submitted by AMOUGOU Abega … on Thu, 11/06/2020 - 10:22

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I have to admit that nervousness and anxiety are part of my life cause by the lack of confidence in every situation i pass throught. sometimes i tremble, but i have already started to get over it by listenning good musics.

Submitted by PoPoChit on Sat, 30/05/2020 - 12:10

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Exams, of course! Thinking about future usually make me nervous and so doing the past. Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in the past and I don’t like it.

Submitted by rerre on Sun, 17/05/2020 - 01:45

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Nowadays I am especially anxious after my salary was reduced during the Covid -19, and it's been hard to make ends meet.

Submitted by Pablo Rizo on Sun, 10/05/2020 - 11:02

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What makes me nervous or anxious It´s thinking about my future.

Submitted by OlaIELTS on Fri, 08/05/2020 - 15:28

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What make me nervous or anxious is normally on achievement of a particular goal or task.

Submitted by SlarkCZ on Mon, 06/04/2020 - 11:39

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This practice is very good, I guess it is so real because you make scared when you have big exam. I mean Maturita this is exam in our country and it is so hard. It is test by Czech language, English language or Math and your skills of this school. I mean like Mechanic or Teacher or Doctor.

Submitted by yoyoraw on Tue, 31/03/2020 - 14:15

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Actually, there are lots of things that make me nervous one of them is being scared to not be able to achieve something that i really want to acomplish not because i do not feel confident of my myself its just because sometimes i feel like I am not working enough.

Submitted by elsanty224 on Thu, 27/02/2020 - 13:19

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when i have to do medical test, over all, magnetic resonance. It's to hard doing this test to me. Beacuse you must to go into a kind of metal tunnel and the space is very reduced. You feel pretty claustrophobic, you feel there's no any air, and you can feel you're short of breath Besides, this machine makes a lot of noise, in fact you must to use ear plugs. I feel quite anxious and i dread going into this machine You can't move during the test, this makes more difficult the situation, because you know if you move, the test has to be repeated. i learnt to not lossing the control in this kind of medical tests and got over it, my distraction plan was, thinking about pleased things or maybe i start to make up stories on my mind, i imagine i'm a football player and i'm helping my team to win the championship. It's indispensable thinking about enjoyable things although it's not easy, in fact there are new medical therapies for coming over it about this sort of phobies and even there are some hospitals that include gadgets for entertaiment you during the test.

Submitted by armando on Tue, 11/02/2020 - 07:44

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I didn't felt like that ever until i began learn english, sometimes i feel like I'm stuck and iI don't know what else i have to do to understand it...

Submitted by I P on Sun, 05/01/2020 - 18:45

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I would say that have had a lot of stressful situation in my life, so that cause some problem such as anxiety or panic attack, I get anxious sometimes as I came in place, and there were a lot of people ( all of them expecting to talk or to be more included),but u need more time for that, someone calls that social anxiety

Submitted by Magedelabd on Tue, 10/12/2019 - 17:24

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What makes me nervous is to meet stupid people .

Submitted by HelianG on Sat, 23/11/2019 - 19:24

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it may sound weird but I feel anxious when I see crowded places,either in photos or in real life,I just feel like if get in I will not be able to get out,like I am going to get stuck in for good.

Submitted by wafaa Ali on Tue, 05/11/2019 - 11:23

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I had to admit that I have this problem also, but I tried to reduce it and I succeed. I think the best way to reduce this problem is Ignoring it

Submitted by Irina07 on Sun, 13/10/2019 - 12:19

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I have to admit that I experienced these feelings when I started learning English. All the time I have felt anxious and I didn t succeed in finding a way to remove this powerful anxiety. I was scared that I will not be able to speak and comprehend this language... At the beginning all the time is hard and I would describe this experience as a thought-provoking and challenging one. we have to learn how to control all these feelings and try to be positive.

Submitted by Caterina Siligardi on Mon, 07/10/2019 - 10:10

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Yes, I often feel anxious; like, for example, when I listen to an audio and a task like these that are still out of my comprehension. I especially talk about the second task. Thank you. See you next.

Submitted by lyly32 on Mon, 07/10/2019 - 03:08

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Hi teacher! Can you explain for me why the answer of question ''What does Ben do at the beginning of the conversation?' is ''he makes the problem sound less than it is'' .I thought that the answer in this question is ''He makes the problem sound more than it is'' . Thank you for your support!

Hello lyly32

The first thing that Ben says is that he is fine ('Good, thanks'). He then admits that he's struggling 'a bit', but then it later becomes clear that he is actually having a very difficult time. So really he minimises the problem at first and gradually reveals how serious it is.

Does that make sense?

All the best

Kirk

The LearnEnglish Team

Submitted by nikisyazwani on Wed, 02/10/2019 - 18:28

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I have completed the lesson 'Getting Advice'. The level I chose was Upper Intermediate B2.